Managing Mental Health During the Holidays

In the film Meet Me in St. Louis, Judy Garland sang the line, “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.” Unfortunately, many people struggle with heavy hearts and numerous stressors over the holidays. The term “holiday stress” reflects increased symptoms of anxiety, impatience, fatigue, and depressed mood that many people experience over the holiday season. Several factors contribute to holiday stress, including financial concerns, tight schedules and heavy demands, loss of loved ones, isolation, and unrealistic expectations. And when stress is at its peak, it can be very hard to stop and regroup.

Stress cannot always be prevented; however, the following tips can be helpful to manage stressors during the holiday season.

• Be aware of your feelings. If someone close to you has recently passed away or if you are away from loved ones, realize that it is normal to feel sadness and grief. It is also important to express your feelings. Do not try to “force yourself” to be happy just because it is the holiday season.
• Have realistic expectations. Too many people expect the holidays to be “perfect.” There is no such thing as perfection; having those expectations will only add to the season’s stress. An asymmetrical tree or an over-cooked turkey will not ruin your holiday; instead, it will create a family memory. Perennial movie favourites, such as A Christmas Story or A Charlie Brown Christmas, are reminders of the endearing qualities of these imperfections.
• Stay within your budget. Before you shop for gifts and food, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then, stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with a mountain of gifts. Some alternatives include giving homemade gifts and starting a family gift exchange. If your children’s wish list exceeds your budget, talk with them about reasonable expectations and remind them that the holidays are not about expensive gifts.
• Manage your time and set boundaries. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you cannot participate in every project or activity. Set priorities and let go of impossible goals. Don’t spend all of your time planning activities for your family. You might end up feeling drained and unappreciated. Take the time you need to finish tasks that are important to you. Don’t try to complete everything at once; ask others to help you complete chores.
• Keep healthy and take time for yourself. When people feel stressed-out and overwhelmed, they often forget about their self-care. Also, the holiday season is ripe with opportunities to overindulge. Make sure that you are eating regularly and healthily, getting a decent night’s sleep, and getting enough physical activity into your day. This can be difficult when the weather turns cold. Finally, pace yourself. Give yourself opportunities to rest and replenish. By slowing down, you will have more energy to accomplish your goals.
• Do something for others. By volunteering or assisting others, we can get out of our experience for a while. Helping out at a food bank or a shelter can also give us some perspective regarding our worries and concerns.
• Practice mindfulness. Often, just the act of focusing on our breath and the present moment in a non-judgmental way can help create emotional and cognitive space, which helps us stay grounded, focused, and regulated. One quick strategy is to take three long, deep, nourishing breaths—breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then, you let your breath settle into its own rhythm as you follow it in and out, noticing the rise and fall of your chest and belly as you breathe. If you find that you have a wandering mind or negative thoughts, simply return to the breath.
• Be patient with yourself. ‘Tis the season for self-judgment! Instead, engage in self-compassion during the holiday season. Can you talk to yourself gently instead of critically? Aspire to go into the holiday season with the intention of accepting your mistakes, pains, and tender places. Engage in self-nurturing practices: a bubble bath, soft music, scented candles, and a favourite tea. Is there a way you can remember to practice kind words to yourself? A reminder note on your calendar? Perhaps buy an advent calendar for yourself, and every day in December, as you open that little door, you can remind yourself to be kind!
• Stay connected and seek support. When we feel sad or overburdened, we often isolate or avoid others, which can add to our burden. Ensure that you are connected with others and seek support if needed. Getting things out in the open can help you manage your feelings and find solutions for your stress. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consider seeing a professional, such as a mental health counsellor, to help you manage your holiday stress. In Brandon and surrounding Westman area, the 24-hour crisis line number is 204- 725-4411, or you can call toll-free at 1-888-379-7699.
  

By Anastasia Gibson, Ph.D., C. Psych
Registered Psychologist, Prairie Mountain Health