Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season

If you are grieving, the approaching holiday season can be difficult.  For many people, the sights, sounds and smells associated with the holidays may bring up memories about the person who has died.  The twinkling lights, cheerful music, family gatherings and societal expectation of joyous holiday spirit can bring about a renewed sense of personal grief. 

There is no right or wrong way to feel during the holiday season.  It is important to be tolerant and compassionate with yourself as you continue to heal.  We hope that these suggestions, adapted from the work of Dr. Alan Wolfelt, will help you to cope with your grief during this joyous, yet painful, time of the year.

• Be Compassionate with Yourself: let your holiday grief be what it is and give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
• Survive: If the death was recent, you may be in survival mode this holiday season and that is okay – the world will keep turning whether you participate in the holidays or not.  
• Be Tolerant of your Physical and Psychological Limits: grief can leave you feeling fatigued and low energy levels may naturally slow you down.  Respect what your mind and body are telling you and build in time for resting and self-care.
• Eliminate Unnecessary Stress: avoid overextending yourself and take steps to reduce the expectations placed on you during the holidays.  Consider simplifying your holiday rituals instead of abandoning them altogether.  Keep the traditions that matter most to you and set the others aside, at least for now.
• Be with Supportive, Comforting People: identify those friends and relatives who understand that the holiday season can increase your sense of loss. Being with people who encourage you to be yourself and accept your feelings – both happy and sad.
• Talk About the Person Who Died: recognize the need to remember your special person and include them in conversations and traditions. It can be help to acknowledge the person who died, perhaps by setting a place at the holiday table, hanging an ornament/stocking or cooking their favorite meal.
• Do What is Right for You During the Holidays: focus on what you want to do and what feels right for you. Muster up the courage to communicate your wishes to the people in your life who support you.
• Plan Ahead for Family Gatherings: Decide which family traditions you want to continue and which new ones you would like to begin. Structuring your holiday time can help you anticipate what is coming and reduce feelings of panic, anxiety and fear.  However, as you make your plans leave room to change them if you feel you need to.
• Embrace Your Treasured Memories: memories are part of the legacy left behind when someone dies. Keep in mind that memories are tinged with both happiness and sadness. If your memories bring laughter, smile.  If your memories bring sadness, it is alright to cry.  Sharing your memories with family and friends can be a comfort.
• Renew Your Resources for Living: Spend time thinking about the meaning and purpose of your life and define the positive things that still surround you. This is not to discount the hurt, because the hurt is part of grieving, but it can also be helpful to identify things that make life meaningful.
• Attend a Remembrance Ceremony: many communities host special remembrance ceremonies during the holidays. The act of joining together with others in grief and ritualizing mourning can be very healing during the holidays.
• Believe in a Better Next Year: believe in your capacity to heal and grow through holiday grief.

Above all, love yourself and allow yourself to be surrounded by loving, caring people who understand your grief this holiday season.  The Palliative Care Volunteer Service extends the invitation for grievers to participate in several events being hosted across Prairie Mountain Health. Please note, many religious organizations also host Blue Christmas Services.  For more information about these events, or to add your community event to the list, please contact the Palliative Care Volunteer and Bereavement Coordinator at 204-578-2310.

Prairie Mountain Health Remembrance Ceremonies:

Brandon Brockie Donovan Tree of Memories Lighting: December 5, 2024 at 7:00pm

Brandon Memories Chapel Christmas Service: December 6^, 2024 at 7pm

Boissevain Longest Night Service December 21, 2024 at 7:00pm

Carberry Memory Tree of Lights Ceremony: December 13, 2024 at 5:30

Dauphin Pathways Funeral Service: December 16, 2024, at TBA

Erickson Memory Tree Lighting Ceremony: December 21, 2024 at 7pm

Killarney Tree of Lights Service: December 11, 2024 at 7:00pm

Minnedosa: Longest Night Service: Dec 21, 2024 at 7:00pm

Rivers Community Memorial Service: November 3, 2024 at 3:00pm

Russell Memory Tree Lighting: November 29, 2024 at 7:00pm

Souris Blue Christmas Ceremony: December 1^, 2024 at 7:00pm

Swan Rivers Angels Among Us Service: December 4, 2024 at 7:00pm

Virden Memory Tree Lighting: November 21, 2024 at 7:00pm

If you cannot join an event in person, you may wish to join a free webinar being hosted by the Canadian Virtual Hospice titled “Grief Chats: Grief and the Holidays” (December 9^th, 2024). Visit the website to register.

Wishing you comfort this holiday season,

Palliative Care Volunteer Service

Submitted By: Carla Mitchell, MSW/RSW
Volunteer and Bereavement Coordinator
PMH Palliative Care Program

Take Our Kids to Work Day offers students a glimpse at health care careers

Prairie Mountain Health (PMH) once again participated in “Take Our Kids to Work Day”, a national program which took place on November 6. The coordinated day, aimed at Grade 9 (or equivalent) students, is hosted by parents, friends, relatives and volunteers at workplaces across the country.

The program supports career development by helping students connect school, the world of work, and their own futures. Students spend the day in the workplace of a parent, relative, friend or volunteer experiencing and learning about the world of work as they begin to explore possible career paths.

PMH has been very supportive of this day and encourages students wishing to enter the health care industry to participate. This past year, PMH had 103 requests from students to take part in the initiative. This was up significantly from 2023, when 67 students participated.

“This day is a welcomed opportunity to have students explore health care careers,” stated Larissa Kominko, Recruitment Manager for PMH. “The hope is that one day these could be our future health care workers, so we continue to look at ways to enhance the program and experience.”

Kominko wishes to sincerely thank all staff who spent time with Grade 9 students during the day.

Three self-care tips to boost your nutrition and wellbeing over the holidays

Food is more than nourishment. Food is a connection. Food is culture. Food is creativity.

Sharing food with others and eating together are common threads throughout the world. Food is a creative expression of values and traditions. This is evident during the holidays.

The holidays can bring joy, but they can also bring some stress. Here are three self-care tips to boost your nutrition and wellbeing over the holidays:

Stay hydrated

Our bodies are mostly made of water. So, it is not surprising that you can feel down in the dumps when you have not had enough fluids. Common symptoms of not getting enough fluids are headache and tiredness. Dizziness is another symptom which can increase the risk of falls.   

Many times, we think we are hungry when we are actually thirsty. Try having a glass of water. Like a wilted plant, you may find it is the pick-up your body needs. Bring water with you when doing errands and shopping for the holidays.

Be mindful 

With the hustle and bustle that comes with the holidays, we may eat on the go more. We may eat differently when we are stressed. During the holidays, we also tend to graze on food when it is within reach. As a result, self-awareness can fade away.

Mindful eating is about bringing your awareness back to yourself and tuning into your senses. Focus on the flavours, textures, and aromas of your food. Slow down and enjoy every bite.

Mindful eating is also about tuning into your hunger and fullness cues. Avoid going to a party or gathering famished. Have a glass of water and a light snack before you go. Not only will it keep you hydrated, but it may also help you stop overeating.    

Keep a regular sleep schedule

A lack of sleep may lead to food cravings and affect your food choices.

A key factor in getting a good sleep that is often overlooked is going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. I know it may be difficult with travel, hosting company and all the extra activities that come with holidays but try to keep a regular sleep schedule.

Sometimes, your sleep is disrupted, like when caring for a sick child. But you can do things that are within your control to help with sleep, such as turning off electronics one hour before bedtime.   

With a night of good sleep, it may be easier to reach for carrot sticks instead of cookies (well, if you are a cookie lover like me, you may still have a cookie or two).  

A final thought: Let go of perfection. Release expectations of what the holidays should look like. The perfect life and the perfect holiday do not exist. They are just ideas portrayed in stories and media.

Wishing you well this holiday season!

By Vanessa Hamilton, RD/Healthy Living Facilitator
Health Promotion and Community Development